The Crooked I-con

I can still clearly recall when this commerical first started appearing on TV. I was watching BET frequently in a vain effort to fit in during middle school. I loved the video from "Mind Playin' Tricks" and still rememeber arguing with one of my classmates and learning that it is NOT okay to say "nigga" even when you're just talking about song lyrics. Anyway, this classic St. Ides commerical popped up on BET, faked me out and made me think seriously about how cool drinking must be.

Turns out it must've convinced a lot of kids about the coolness of the Crooked Letter, since not long after they released a non-alcoholic version of the stuff (advertised here by Ice Cube.)

Outside of Billy Dee Williams, Ice Cube is probably as close to a spokesman for St. Ides as one can get. It tooks years before rappers with savvier management skills realized that they could eliminate the middleman and start bottling their own spirits (which I will not link to because they are lame.)

Here are two more commericals. You might want to seek out DJ Drank's Greatest Malt Liquor Hits for tons more.

Ice Cube ft. DJ Pooh - Blind Taste Test.mp3
EPMD ft. Ice Cube - East Meets West Malt Liquor.mp3


Don't forget, Cube, St. Ides is for all ages now

How can I make it up to you, Renee?

I'll be honest. Usually I'm in such a rush to share what I want to share with the rest of the world. Stupid, isn't it? The pictures don't work here half the time and, once in a while, the music link is typed wrong in some way. It's the 21st century, which means I've been typing in HTML for more than 10 years now. You'd think I could get it right more often.

I am sorry. In the future, I will strive to make sure that I don't let my rush to share be for naught. What can I give you that will maybe make things right? Why, how about Troglodyte by the Jimmy Castor Bunch? Will that help? I hope it helps. I also promise to finish my research on the "Lindsey Buckingham: Gayblade" article.

If this isn't good enough, click this link after 12 am for The Mandelay Song by The Flying Lizards.

<3

GOOGLING THE WORD "BELLE"...

JUST DOES NOT FIND (was fine) YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ANYMORE. IS THERE A GOOGLE.FR I SHOULD BE USING OR SOMETHING? (editor: i have no idea what was going on here) I'M NOT EVEN FINDING THE ILLICIT DISNEY PORNO I HALF-EXPECTED TO FIND. WHAT GIVE[s]?

THIS IS ABOUT A SONG THOUGH. WE DON'T NEED AN IMAGE TO ATTATCH TO THE BELLE'S MELVIN, DO WE? ALL WE NEED IS THAT LITTLE LAUGH IN THE SINGER'S VOICE WHEN THE "GLORIA" JOKE COMES TO FRUITION AND SHE HEARS HER BACKING GIRLS SING "MELLL-VIN" INSTEAD OF "GLOOOO-RIA". IT'S A RECORD THAT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EXIST (ALONG WITH JIMI HENDRIX'S "wet pussy" VERSION OF THIS SONG), BUT THANKFULLY DOES.

THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS THAT I DIDN'T POST THE MEM. DAY SONG I HAD IN MIND. IN COMPARISON, IT'S A RIGHT BORE.

[editor's note: i would like to thank the lord for the existence of the internet. normally, you would have to be drunk with me in my room to experience such a trainwreck. now, the whole world can see! the link is fixed (turns out you can't just type a link address in all caps... it's case sensitive.)]

AGED 64

Goodnight, Desmond Dekker.

The Israelites.mp3

Big Gloomy

Big Maybelle - Gloomy Sunday

A SONG WHERE YOU REALLY NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE LYRICS

Years before finding his niche as disco synth god, Giorgio Moroder was the mastermind behind a German bubblegum group aptly named Giorgio. I've been looking for their ABC-Dunhill records for a while now without even realizing it was Moroder. This weekend I found their "Son of My Father" single and discovered the vastly superior b-side, Underdog (which I already had lurking about in MP3 format via the amazing "Bubblegum MF" comp. series).

Sure, this breaks the entendre series, but I'm pretty sure I already posted "Shave 'Em Dry" so technically my Underdog post is Matt's fault. Enjoy!

ante up

Well then, Herr Butler. It looks like I could take this in one of two directions. Either I could go the (not-so) subtle innuendo route with these guys, also a western swing group:


(The Light Crust Doughboys - Pussy, Pussy, Pussy)

OR I could throw all standards of decency completely out the window and take the arm of this sweet lady:


(Lucille Bogan - Shave 'em Dry)

But since I suppose I just did both, I fold and thus bring this shaky poker (hehe "poker") metaphor to a close. Renee can take my place, I'm spent.

So we're going for the sexual, eh?

Alright, I'll see your pussy reggae, Mr. Hwbkr, and raise you one Western Swing song (complete w/ yodel) about fucking.

cliff carlisle - the nasty swing.mp3

I'd give you a photo to illustrate "nasty swing", but I think we're all adults here and our minds (and Googlesearches) will do just fine, thank you.

-mason

SORRY

I screwed up that last link; it has now been fixed. Please accept this reggae pussy post as a thanks for your patience. This is a very simple sequence, actually. Please observe:

1)Look pon pussy
2)Hold the pussy
3)Play with pussy
4)Pussy catch-a-fire

Got it? GOOD

CHOPPIN TREES

Please add a .mp3 to Matt's "Gloomy Sunday" link to make it work. For a link that'll work right away, click below:

Odetta - Timber.mp3

I will be your persistant downer.

Based on our livejournal rss feed, we have 12 readers. Let's see if this (possible) weekly feature can gradually shave that number down.

Billie Holiday (w/Teddy Wilson & His Orchestra) - Gloomy Sunday (aka "the Hungarian Suicide Song", aka "the song that has been covered by so many people that I can easilly find one version per week for the rest of the year")



link is fixed

A MAN PLEASED BY ANIMALS

John Jacob Niles - I Had A Cat.mp3

sad...

Here's a bit of sad news that I missed some how... Grant McLennan, co-singer/songwriter of the Go-Betweens died of a massive coronary while sleeping on May 6th. McLennan wrote some of my favorite songs, including the one that got me into the band in the first place, "Cattle and Cane." The band had recently reformed and had put out a few pretty decent albums in the oughts, but who knows where they'll end up now.

Lets all take a moment and enjoy some of his songs. Unfortunately, I couldn't find my copy of my favorite album by them, Spring Hill Fair, but really, all of their albums are fantastic, smart Australian pop masterpieces. McLennan also recorded some solo stuff in the nineties, but I'm not familiar with any of it. If I find my copy of SHF, believe me, I will be posting "Bachelor Kisses." Until then, enjoy these songs:

The Go-Betweens - One Thing Can Hold Us (from their first album, Send Me a Lullaby)
The Go-Betweens - Cattle and Cane (from their second, Before Hollywood)
The Go-Betweens - Finding You (from last year's Ocean's Apart)

THE BEAST EATS ITSELF

the mp3 that disappeared

AND WE SAID RIGHT-O

It's been a long week, boys and girls. My plan tonight was to make a bitchy post about Ghostface rapping over entire songs by good soul/r&b groups but that's not ready yet (ie. i haven't ripped/downloaded it all). Besides, IT IS FRIDAY AND THAT IS NOT FUN! What I want is FUN!

HERE:


is fun.

A fun fact...

DID YOU KNOW?

Super-iconic gay dance group Right Said Fred (see above) named themselves after this British novelty hit by Bernard Cribbins, who looks like this:

to judge by the cover

Based on the artist's hilarious name (Big Bear), stupid album title (Doin Thangs), and cartoonishly insane album cover,



his music should either totally suck or be some sort of bad comedy rap, possibly involving a collabo with Baloo the Bear (a la MC Scat Kat/Paula Abdul). It's neither, unfortunately. It's just mediocre mid-nineties stuff, sometimes extremely so. I mean, "Doin Thangs"? It's like he used up all his creative energy creating that cover, and didn't have enough left over to actually describe the thangs he be doin'. All we know is that they help him maintain and they involve the game in some way.

But goddamn, that album cover is amazing.

Big Bear - Doin Thangs

Posting because I can.

We Are The Excellence.

THE MISEDUCATION OF BRUCE HAACK

From the unreleased album Haackula...

"People have put down records I've done
Words I have written, songs I have sung
You have made me feel like a fool
SUCK MY DICK!

I can only imagine that people gave the poor guy a lot of shit. To be fair, a lot of Bruce and Miss Nelson's records WERE pretty crappy... enthusiatic and original, to be sure, but very often cringe-inducingly bad. But the man deserves a lot of credit for his electronic tinkering and his refusal to let looking like this:


keep him from being one of the craziest hippy-dippy motherfuckers of the late 60's.

FLAMINGO

The Charades - Flamingo.mp3

There is something amazing about this song. Yesterday Mr Compilator and I were busy doing our jobs when this song came out of nowhere and fucking blindsided the entire toom. If this was their only single (and I can't really find anything else), what a way to do it. Sing your damn heart out like you'll never have the chance to do it again because, well, you just might not.

WHEEEEEEEE!!!

COLLINS KIDS! COLLINS KIDS!! COLLINS KIDS!!!


Collins Kids - Whistle Bait.mp3
Collins Kids - Hot Rod.mp3
Collins Kids - Beetle-Bug-Bop.mp3

from ass to, uh, nevermind...

I don't know about you guys, but I can't really come up with a genre of music that has a smaller potential fanbase than "Queer Nazi Skinhead Rock."

And yet, today I bring you...

Pink Panzer - Gay and White
Pink Panzer - White Man's Land
Pink Panzer - Pink Panzer
Pink Panzer - Pink Flags Flying
Pink Panzer - Manthunder